*yawn*

Yours exhaustedly,
Chloe x

Please be kind to me. Let me come out feeling less tired, and just generally better. It would also be nice if you could correspond with the week after you to ensure I get to see my “select few work friends” again.

Yours pleadingly,
Chloe x

Why is everything I own rubbish? I may have stolen that question from a Weasley, but it doesn’t make it any less relevant.
A few months ago, I was sitting on the coffee table (as I sometimes do) playing Grand Theft Auto IV on my PS3. I hadn’t played in ages, so I’d decided to restart my game. I watched the opening story, and then drove from the dock to “my cousin’s” house. Cue game freeze. As someone who regularly uses computer type technology, the freeze didn’t phase me beyond a thought of “oh, that’s annoying, I’ll have to restart it.” And restart it I did. I restarted my 3-year-old-and-therefore-way-outside-of-manufacturer-warranty Playstation 3, only to discover that not only would GTAIV not load, but neither would ANY OTHER DISC I OWNED – game, movie, music or otherwise!

FML. Some googling brought to my attention that the bluray drive in PS3′s quite commonly crap their pants, and that I’d probably have to replace it. I still haven’t had the funds to organise this, and so haven’t been gaming much lately.

This afternoon I came home from work to find that my computer screen had a hole bunch of nice looking lines through it, and that the resolution didn’t want to be changed from 800×600. I checked the cables; everything plugged in as normal, so not an issue with the cat knocking shit around my desk. Unplugged the cables; monitor displayed the “Check connection” message box like it normally would, so probably not a problem with the monitor itself. I went back to Google on my stepfather’s computer and typed in “failed graphics card.” The results in the forum described my symptoms. I changed the search to images. Second result looked like my screen…

FUCK, so what, now I have to replace my graphics card for my computer AS WELL AS the bluray drive for my PS3??! Why does the universe hate me so much? Where am I going to get the money to sort myself out techonologically?

Yours frustratedly,
Chloe x

EDIT: As I was typing this, I thought of one more thing I could try before admitting absolute defeat on my graphics card. It’s going to make me sound like a n00b… but I reinstalled the driver…
All systems go for computer, but still, help with my PS3?? /EDIT

I know this may be hard for you to comprehend, but sometimes people aren’t all about bearing their heart and soul to you. Also, sometimes people who are in a shitty place emotionally, don’t like needing to repeat their problems to you daily so that you can keep up.

Maybe, if I’m quiet and only really responding in short sentences, it’s because I don’t want to talk (to you)! Just a thought…

Yours reclusively,
Chloe

I’m not about to pretend I understand exactly what has been happening in the greater London area over the past day or so, but from what I’ve seen it seems clear that a whole bunch of you have taken it upon yourselves to prove the devolution of mankind. Tell me, what the fuck is the point of running about violently, hurting people, destroying property, looting, setting fires and in general ganging up to cause a complete mess?

Is this place not your home? Do you have no pride or respect for your surroundings? And what about the people who do? Do you have no respect for their feelings, their properties, or worse, their lives??!

Don’t get me wrong, protest is fine. Stand up for what you believe in; that’s brilliant! But do it in a way that’s not destructive and make sure it’s for something you actually believe in. I’d hazard a guess that most of the people out there in London were just “youths with petrol bombs” jumping on the bandwagon with no regard to the original issue, nor any knowledge of whether there truly was an original issue.

And that’s sad. It means a whole city has been through hell for no reason. And in turn, it means the whole world has been worrying helplessly for no reason. How is that fair?

Someone has to clean all that shit up now… I can only hope that your conscience kicks in, and you volunteer your services for that. I won’t hold my breath.

Yours disappointedly,
Chloe
(just like the winter, you don’t get an x either)

I find your drinking loud and disruptive. The slurping goes on for so long, it is almost necessary to change the TV volume!

I understand that you need to drink, and I suppose this is the sacrifice I had to make when deciding to put a bowl of water in the living room for you so we could have the doors shut when the heater’s on. I also understand that it’s possibly more the fault of biology than your own. But still… Shhhh

Yours pointlessly,
Chloe x

I know it’s our birthday, but that’s hardly an excuse to be lacking in ideas. Tomorrow you better help me come up with something better to write here.

Maybe it’s all the sugar we’ve consumed today that’s blocking the thought patterns. Maybe it’s the lack of new thought-provoking material we’ve received lately. Point is, you’ve had the time to be lazy, and tomorrow I’d like it if you could stop.

Yours assertively,
Chloe x

Today was difficult, and understandably you are now quite
uncomfortable. Tomorrow will be better, and slowly it will get easier. Sleep now, and perhaps we’ll wake in less pain.

Yours sympathetically,
Chloe x

Thank you for your support this week; the kind words and hugs in spite of their not being much to say have been appreciated.

Somehow though, I have walked away from tonight’s party feeling worse. My own lack of self-esteem has me wondering whether your kindness has been because of me or if it’s pity because of the situation. I don’t want to be pitied. Yeah, sure, it’s fucking ass that I have to go to a funeral the day before my birthday, but I’ll be ok, seriously. I know that life goes on, even after some choose to end theirs.

I don’t need pity, I need distractions. Time will tell if I’m overthinking the support I’ve received in the past couple of hours, but I would have liked a reason to not have to come home for awhile.

Of course, I could just be super crazy and imagining things. Perhaps some of you truly do care, or at least are starting to, and it needed a moment like this for it all to come out in the open.

Bring on next week!

Yours ambiguously,
Chloe x

I hate you, and wish for you to fuck off at your earliest convenience.

I do not appreciate the extra time it takes me to find clothing for work because of the extra considerations I have to make regarding layers. Once I have wasted this time finding an outfit that will keep me warm while walking to work, but with enough to take off so I don’t sweat to death in my way-too-warm office, I have to waste even more time putting these extra layers on… in the cold… which involves a lot of difficult manoeuvres so that each part is not naked for long enough to freeze off.

Of course, there’s also the fact that I didn’t want to get out of bed in the first place, because it’s still dark outside! This messes with me psychologically, Winter; if it’s dark out, it’s clearly too early to be getting ready for work!

So now that you’ve made me late for work, you can also take credit for the standard tickling sensation I feel in my nose during your entire presence, as well as that nice thick layer in my throat.

Oh! Sometimes there’s nose-bleeds too! Thanks for those as well.

Just, in general, all I feel for you is extreme intense dislike. Take your cold temperatures, your rain, your darkness and your illnesses, and please leave me alone!

Yours contemptuously,
Chloe
(no “x” for you)